| Dish |
What?
Duetto Quorn Pasta Bemuddlement Style
Bemuddlement Style? You mean, like actual cooking?
Well almost
|
 |
 |
|
This |
To This in
less than 20mins |
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Fig 1
Your
mission....should you choose to accept it. |
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| What
is It ? |
Pasta...two
types
Type 1 : Sun ripened tomatoes infused with Garlic and
Herbs, wrapped in tomatoe pasta
Type 2: Soft Mascarpone Ricotta and Parmesan
Cheese, wrapped in Egg Pasta
Quorn Pieces delicately fried in Sunflower Oil, all
served in a delicious Tomatoe and Chilli sauce (see Fig 2)
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 |
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Fig 2
A jar of Pureed
Lloyd Grossman? Fear not, remember Bemuddlement is strictly
Vegetarian. |
|
| Where
to find it |
- Chill
Cabinet "Quorn" section.
- Chill Cabinet "Pasta Section"
- Big pile of sauce jars...various locations..usually
next to the freeze dried Popadoms
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| Likelyhood
of finding |
This is not
a case of hunting and gathering, its a case of careful planning and only
the most dedicated of sad meal shoppers should attempt to gather these
fine ingredients. Please avoid if you have sat in a 7hr M$-Powerpoint
'Death by Viewgraph' meeting all day.
|
| Complimentaries |
Bemuddlement
recommends a whole loaf of Sainbury's Garlic bread.....extra
strength...especially if you have a pointless appraisal the next day,
with well meaning boss who has difficulty remembering your name. |
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|
| Wine |
Are you
serious? After cooking this lot (sorry I used the "C" word
there), you will need it. Bemuddlement recommends two bottles of fine
Italian Chardonnay that have been placed in the freezer for quick
chilling.
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| Preparation
Notes |
The most
complicated of Bemuddlement dishes. Pasta has to be perfectly steamed
for 10 mins. Quorn is fried for 8 mins. Sauce is mildly heated for 3mins
AFTER the Quorn and Pasta. Garlic Bread takes the statutory 12
mins at 200 degs. A small GANTT chart showing key milestones and target
end times will be made available soon to ensure the whole preparation
time climaxes simultaneously.
Do NOT attempt anything else other than cooking during
the preparation time. May we recommend the kitchen radio tuned to "Nightime
with Whale" on Sportstalk 1089AM to get you through the traumatic
experience of operating a cooking hob. |
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|
Fig 3
Bemuddlement
Scientists worked slavishly around the clock to determine the
correct method of operating this strange device in the kitchen.
After 6 days they determined that the bizarre dark vessels are
called "saucepans" and that the "device" is
a gas oven hob. They failed to identify the ritual challis,
seen here in the top left hand corner. |
|
| Calories |
Not as many as you would think. Quorn, as well as being an
excellent substitute for window putty, is very low in fat and Lloyd
Grossman is a fit lad, low in cholesterol. |
| Serving
Suggestion |
Duetto Quorn
Pasta (Bemuddlement Style) is a work of art and as such should be
presented as such. Only the finest cutlery and porcelain china should be
used. Save that, just grab the plate from the draining board that
wasn't put away last night.
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| Ideal
Viewing/Listening |
Classical
Italian Baroque music and eaten by the PC linked into the Lourve Website
(may we suggest the 17th century Post-Renascence section?). For the more affluent
Bemuddlemnt readers may we suggest "Artsworld" on some Skydigi
(somewhere between that odd 'girly' health channel and E4).
If it's a Sunday night, why not enjoy the wonderful
tones of David Jabobs on Radio 2? You know it makes sense.
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