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Quorn Cottage Pie

Dish Sainsbury's Quorn Cottage Pie
What is It ? Quorn mince, in some gravy, few vegetables thrown in, topped with pre-cooked mash potatoes. Lots of onion thrown in for flavour. We think we saw some carrot, definitely some peas.
Where to find it Chill Cabinet "Quorn" section.
Likelyhood of finding Quite hard to find. Even for this meal  our Chef had to compromise and take a slighted dented packet. Popularity is probably due to it's traditional English nature and its healthy vegetarian bias.
Complimentaries Can be eaten alone although best enjoyed with some tinned vegetables
  • Peas
  • Carrots
  • Sweet corn
  • that kind of thing

Vegetable Oxo gravy can be added but this leads to a potentially messy washing-up scenario (see Preparation Notes)
 

Fig 1

A bizarre meal. It looks the same 'raw' as when cooked. If only all dishes were like this.
 

 
Wine A must. Red or Amber. Never Green, except in extreme circumstances.
Preparation Notes Nothing could be simpler. Quorn Cottage Pie takes 30 minutes to cook, complimentary vegetables can be prepared in minutes, especially with today's modern ring-pull cans. Since Quorn Cottage Pie benefits from slight overcooking and vegetables from under cooking (thus holding on to the remnants of nutrients left in the brine soaked matter). All manner of activities can be carried out simultaneously.
  • Grabbing e-mail (you can even boot the PC that now that it seems to take 10 mins to power-up)
  • Enjoy the Live version of Led Zeppelin's "Dazed and Confused" from "The Song remains the Same" and still have 3mins 17secs to spare.
  • Change that set of strings on the guitar that should have been changed so long ago (ensure you have the same gauge though, you DO NOT have enough time to set up the intonation and the action as well you know).
  • Squeeze in a  round of WRC on the PS2 (pref. Finland or Argentina)

You get the idea.

Please remember to pierce the film covering the Cottage Pie before cooking (see Fig 2).
 

Correct

DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS AT HOME

Fig 2

The Bemuddlement Chef demonstrates a method of piercing the delicate film covering Quorn Cottage Pie when extracted fresh from the chiller. DO NOT GET CARRIED AWAY AND ATTEMPT THIS TECHNIQUE ON THE COMPLIMENTARY TIN OF VEGETABLES. It's very silly.
 
Calories
  • Cottage Pie 304 
  • Petit Pois + Carrots 104  (Whole Tin)
  • + Wine

Wow this is amazing, not only a tasty and succulent meal, but its so light in calories, why not add a tasty bread roll with your meal?
Serving Suggestion Quorn Cottage Pie, will remove from its packages tray, but the chances of getting it out, onto a plate with the decorative mash potato topping on top are less than 5%. Plus there is the washing-up factor. However, if you really cannot face the thought of those lovely vegetables without gravy, then Bemuddlement recommends that extraction is performed. Always extract if adding gravy, washing up cold remnants of this meal is never pleasant, but doing so with a plastic tray swimming in cold Vegetarian Oxo  is a truly sobering experience.
Ideal Viewing/Listening Bemuddlement can always recommend something Amos-y (and we don't mean old 1970's repeats of Emmerdale Farm, although the period where NY Estates was formed is classic viewing). The 90 minute "Tori Amos live in New York" may be a little lengthy for late night dining, but there is enough variety and depth to keep even the most fatigued Bemuddled viewer enthralled.

Failing that, a few editions of "Stella Street" are always welcome. Try to avoid complicated items, such as that illogical menu system on the "Father Ted" DVDs.
 

Fig 4

Oh Boy! Does that look good. How can this much indulgence weigh in at less than 1000 calories. Our chef wisely opted for the "Petit Pois avec Carot sans Gravy" variety of this dish, enabling the addition of a wholemeal floury bap. Rounded off with "Tori Amos live in New York".